SOCIAL Q's Whose Parent's Names Should Be On My Wedding Invitation?




Dear Lily,
I am getting married this winter and I need to pick an invitation. I have narrowed it down to a few that I like but the only thing that is stopping me is the wording. My problem is that both my parents and the parents of my fiancée are divorced and remarried to other people. I have noticed that most invitations usually list the parent’s names first before the bride and groom but with all those names, I don’t want my invitation to look ridiculous. My fiancée suggested we leave out our parents names off of the invitation but a friend mentioned that it isn’t proper to do so since both of my parents are equally paying for the wedding. What should I do?

Thanks,
Carole J.

Dear Carole,
Congratulations on getting married! Your wise friend is correct in that you really shouldn’t leave off your parents name’s since they are paying (and therefore hosting) the wedding. Much like any other party given in honour of a specific person, the host/hostess is the one issuing the invitation to the guests and their names should be placed at the top of the invitation wording. The only instance where you could omit the parents name’s is when the wedding is being paid for by the bride and groom, which is when they become the hosts as opposed to the individuals being honoured.
In your specific situation, which rest assured, is very common with the increase of blended families, since your fiancée’s parents are not paying for the wedding it would be totally appropriate to not list their names at the top of the invitation. If you still want to include their names somewhere on the invitation, you could do so below your fiancée’s name. For example, just below the groom’s name, his parent’s names would be listed as “son of Mr. and  Mrs. Lawrence Abbot” or more specific to your situation “son of Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Abbot & Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Smith”.
In regards to the wording at the top of the invitation, I would suggest starting by looking at what will be least offending to the step parents involved. Are you close to your step parents and are they also contributing to the wedding? If this is the case, I would use similar wording as I mentioned for the groom’s parents and place both sets of your parents name at the top issuing the invitation. For example:

Mr. and Mrs. John Jones
&
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carole Elaine
to
Edward Thomas
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Abbot
&
Mr. & Mrs. Timothy Smith

If you are not particularly close to your step parents and/or they are not technically contributing to the cost of the wedding, it is perfectly acceptable to leave their names off the invitation as outlined below.

Mr. John Jones
&
Mrs. Alanna Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carole Elaine
to
Edward Thomas
son of
Mr. Lawrence Abbot
&
Mrs. Karen Smith

If all else fails (and just in case old family dramas are trying to bubble back up to the surface), a more casual way to go is to mention the parents all together without specifically naming them all at the top of the invitation in this fashion:

Together With Their Parents
Carole Elaine Jones
&
Edward Thomas Abbot
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage


Hope that helps and again, congratulations and good luck!

Best Regards,
Lily



2 comments:

  1. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to
    be really something that I think I would never understand.

    It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I'm
    looking forward for your next post, I'll try to get the hang of it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is in point of fact a great and helpful piece of info.
    I'm glad that you simply shared this helpful information with us.

    Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete