SOCIETY Silence is Golden Mr. Markle


Is it ever alright to publicly shame a child, parent or family member to soothe your own ego if you feel like you have been wronged? Not necessarily a topic of proper etiquette but more a question of good manners and good ethics which I like to think is within the realm of this blog.
Today, instead of me telling you how late one can be for a dinner party, how much to tip your mailman at Christmas or the difference between white tie and black tie, I'd like to pose a question or two to you, the reader.
When is it enough already? When is it time to hold your tongue and incendiary opinion about a family member and stop the public airing of grievances every time there is a camera and paycheck around the corner?
This weekend, after he had already made a point of declaring his July 15 interview with The Sun as the final time he was speaking on the matter publicly, yet another interview with Thomas Markle, the father of the newlywed Duchess of Sussex, was unveiled by The Daily Mail and during the 9 hour interview, Mr. Markle continued his embarrassing tirade against his daughter because she has supposedly cut off communication with him due to pressure from the Royal Family. He wants to let the Firm know that he is not having it and won't go away quietly.

''I refuse to stay quiet. What riles me is Meghan's sense of superiority. I tell you, I've just about reached my limit with Meghan and the Royal Family. They want me to be silent, they want me to just go away. But I won't be silenced. 

He has been hurt you see, by the lack of support he feels he should have received from the Queen, the Royal Family and more importantly his daughter, who he said would "be nothing without me. I made her the Duchess she is today. Everything that Meghan is, I made her."

And because of that 'hurt', his temperament during the interview runs the gamut from trying to garner sympathy ("It wouldn't be so bad. I have something of a Buddhist philosophy about death. Perhaps it would be easier for Meghan if I died") to an anger that bubbles over every other paragraph.
"Oh, she's a mummy's girl now and Doria gets a lot of the credit....When Meghan was 11, she moved back in with me up until she was 17 and went to college....I was having my good years then, making good money, and could afford to give her the best, with a good school, good education, good home....She became the woman that she is today thanks to everything I did for her....And did I get any recognition for it? Any thanks? She doesn't even speak to me now. How cold is that?"

As a parent myself, I have tried to save a little understanding as to the hurt Mr. Markle might be feeling. Estrangement from a beloved child you believe you've supported, emotionally and financially, through thick and thin is a hard thing for the heart to bear especially when your child seems to have soared into a completely foreign world, out of your realm and out of your reach. It happens often enough in real life; parents grumble and air their discontent to any patient ears they come across, that their children have gone off to live their new lives and forgotten about them.
But when those 'ears' stop being those of a neighbour or close companion and their scope reaches global headlines (AND are accompanied by a financial payout), does it stop being just a parent's emotional catharsis and venture into bitterness and vitriol meant to sting and hurtfully embarrass the one you supposedly hold so dear?
Whatever slight sympathy some of us might have originally had for Mr. Markle has diminished into feelings of embarrassment, annoyance and some might add disdain. Wishing that by some cosmic fate this would reach the ears of the man himself, the waning sympathy for you and rising empathy for your daughter is because of you Mr. Markle and your insistence to publicly betray your child.
It's because of your insistence to not silence yourself, to continue to shame her and publicly tear apart your personal relationship with your daughter. It's because of your insistence to bring down another family, albeit a royal one, who, as I understand from your direct quotes, have offered to assist you at times but that you found their offers insulting and turned them down.
That is what has torn you away from you daughter and nothing else.
Your daughter is not locked up in the Tower of London, unable to access phones or texts or the mail but is living the life of Riley, as a newlywed should and has made a independent choice to steer clear of you and your clan. She chooses to not communicate because you have made it quite clear to her and to the rest of the world, that she can not trust the one person in her life whose loyalty she should never have to question, her dad.
Take a deep breath Mr. Markle, you've unloaded your tale of woe and now it's time to take a bow and stop, if not for the sake of the masses who deem your fifteen minutes of infamy are up but for the daughter you insist you love with all of your heart. We have grown weary of your antics and it would be a pity if this was your footnote in history.

 And now I ask my second question; when does a person draw a line in the sand and step away from family when they have gone too far? Family dysfunction is not that odd a commodity and more of us than we would like to admit have gone through some sort of strained relationship with a parent or close relative at some point. Every once in awhile though, you witness a family that is so overloaded with toxicity (much like the Markles) that you start to understand why and how one could cut ties wherever possible and walk away from all the drama, that by the sounds of it, did not just come to the surface with Meghan Markle leaving Hollywood for jolly old England.

I would love to hear what you have to say!
Leave a comment or drop me a line in my inbox!




12 comments:

  1. He's exhausting.Perhaps Megan had stepped away from her father prior to the engagement and wedding and now he has a forum in which to air his grievances, real or perceived.In any case, it's easy to see why she may chosen distance.I would also think that all of the stress and turmoil he causes himself is not good for his health; especially after heart surgery.
    What's different here is that the press seems to play this as a difference about "class" with the underlying message that the Royal's have "class" and the Markle's do not.One shouldn't confuse breeding with class.They are distinctly different.

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  3. I can’t judge the poor man. The story of Meghan has some questionable character flaws that leaves me wondering about her behavior too. Harry is a world traveler and one would think meeting her father would have been a gentlemanly thing to do prior to the proposal. This man will perhaps be a grandfather to royal children and they might want to understand why he isn’t part of the family. He was silent for months after the announcement and then something broke and now he is fighting a battle he can’t win. Her ex husband might be able to sympathize with his frustration.

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  11. I live in the UK so wouldn't believe one quote from The Sun, which is a real rag newspaper. However, I have seen his interview with Piers Morgan and it was very heartfelt. It was a Father desperate to see his child (who he hasn't been estranged from until she decided she was going to get hitched to Harry!). I am a Royalist. I love Harry and his brother and loved watching the wedding. But the UK is starting to feel very sorry for Mr Markle. Meghan cannot talk about all the humanitarian work she plans to do when she can't even show some compassion for her Father. Something just doesn't feel right.Changing all her phone numbers etc would not have been done by the "suits" at the Palace. That would have been her choice. Why did she not even introduce her Father to Harry before the wedding? It's as though she is trying to wipe clean her past/heritage.
    The saying "don't forget how you started" or "where you come from" springs to mind.
    I just see a Father desperate to connect with his daughter.
    I may have this all wrong but the tide is starting to turn against MM already in the UK. She needs to really act now.

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