CHIC THIS WEEK Best Dressed for September 16-22, 2018

Who is your choice for best dressed this week?
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KATIE HOLMES
In Zac Posen
At an unveiling of Harry Winston’s ‘New York Collection’ in NYC, New York



THANDIE NEWTON
In Brandon Maxwell
(jewellery by Lorraine Schwartz)
At the 2018 Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, California



VICTORIA BECKHAM
In Victoria Beckham
Out and about in London, England



CAMILLA BELLE
In Carolina Herrera
At Caruso’s Palisades Village Opening Gala in Pacific Palisades, California



EMMA STONE
At 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' in NYC, New York



KATE BECKINSALE
At Caruso’s Palisades Village Opening Gala in Pacific Palisades, California



GABRIELLE UNION
In Elie Saab
At the Netflix's 'Nappily Ever After' special showing in Los Angeles, California



JESSICA BIEL
In Ralph & Russo
At the 2018 Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, California



Best Dressed for September 16-22, 2018

Katie Holmes in Zac Posen
Thandie Newton in Brandon Maxwell
Victoria Beckham in Victoria Beckham
Camilla Belle in Carolina Herrera
Emma Stone in Marc Jacobs
Kate Beckinsale in Solace London
Gabrielle Union in Elie Saab
Jessica Biel in Ralph & Russo


THE OLD SCHOOL RULES A Well-Dressed Lady in 1872

Excerpt from "The Ladies' Book Of Etiquette And Manual of Politeness" by Florence Hartley

So many little rules and regulations governed the life of the Victorians, never more apparent than in how one was to dress and groom themselves, especially the ladies of this era. In books that monitored the code of conduct of the time, entire chapters were reserved for the ins and outs of a lady's wardrobe and how important their external appearance was since, in the eyes of the Victorians at least, it was an echo of their internal worth; their morals and values reflecting through their clothes, and how meticulous they were in regards to their grooming and self-care.
It's interesting though that even with much of the wording being very dated and old-fashioned sounding to us, these 'rules' when peeled away of their dated varnish, still ring true in the 21st century.


"A lady is never so well dressed as when you cannot remember what she wears."

No truer remark than the above was ever made. Such an effect can only be produced where every part of the dress harmonizes entirely with the other parts, where each color or shade suits the wearer's style completely, and where there is perfect neatness in each detail. One glaring color, or conspicuous article, would entirely mar the beauty of such a dress. It is, unfortunately, too much the custom in America to wear any article, or shape in make, that is fashionable, without any regard to the style of the person purchasing goods. If it is the fashion it must be worn, though it may greatly exaggerate a slight personal defect, or conceal or mar what would otherwise be a beauty. It requires the exercise of some judgment to decide how far an individual may follow the dictates of fashion, in order to avoid the appearance of eccentricity, and yet wear what is peculiarly becoming to her own face or figure. Another fault of our fair countrywomen is their extravagance in dress. No better advice can be given to a young person than to dress always according to her circumstances. She will be more respected with a simple wardrobe, if it is known either that she is dependent upon her own exertions for support, or is saving a husband or father from unnecessary outlay, than if she wore the most costly fabrics, and by so doing incurred debt or burdened her relatives with heavy, unwarrantable expense. If neatness, consistency, and good taste, preside over the wardrobe of a lady, expensive fabrics will not be needed; for with the simplest materials, harmony of color, accurate fitting to the figure, and perfect neatness, she will always appear well dressed.

GENERAL RULES

Neatness
This is the first of all rules to be observed with regard to dress. Perfect cleanliness and careful adjustment of each article in the dress are indispensable in a finished toilet. Let the hair be always smooth and becomingly arranged, each article exquisitely clean, neat collar and sleeves, and tidy shoes and stockings, and the simplest dress will appear well, while a torn or soiled collar, rough hair, or untidy feet will entirely ruin the effect of the most costly and elaborate dress. The many articles required in a lady's wardrobe make a neat arrangement of her drawers and closets necessary, and also require care in selecting and keeping goods in proper order. A fine collar or lace, if tumbled or soiled, will lose its beauty when contrasted with the same article in the coarsest material perfectly pure and smooth. Each article of dress, when taken off, should be placed carefully and smoothly in its proper place. Nice dresses should be hung up by a loop on the inside of the waistband, with the skirts turned inside out, and the body turned inside of the skirt. Cloaks should hang in smooth folds from a loop on the inside of the neck. Shawls should be always folded in the creases in which they were purchased. All fine articles, lace, embroidery, and handkerchiefs, should be placed by themselves in a drawer, always laid out smoothly, and kept from dust. Furs should be kept in a box, alone, and in summer carefully packed, with a quantity of lump camphor to protect from moths. The bonnet should always rest upon a stand in the band-box, as the shape and trimming will both be injured by letting it lie either on the face, sides, or crown.

Adaptiveness
Let each dress worn by a lady be suitable to the occasion upon which she wears it. A toilet may be as offensive to good taste and propriety by being too elaborate, as by being slovenly. Never wear a dress which is out of place or out of season under the impression that "it will do for once," or "nobody will notice it." It is in as bad taste to receive your morning calls in an elaborate evening dress, as it would be to attend a ball in your morning wrapper.

Harmony
To appear well dressed without harmony, both in color and materials, is impossible. When arranging any dress, whether for home, street, or evening, be careful that each color harmonizes well with the rest, and let no one article, by its glaring costliness, make all the rest appear mean. A costly lace worn over a thin, flimsy silk, will only make the dress appear poorer, not, as some suppose, hide its defects. A rich trimming looks as badly upon a cheap dress, as a mean one does upon an expensive fabric. Observe this rule always in purchasing goods. One costly article will entirely ruin the harmony in a dress, which, without it, though plain and inexpensive, would be becoming and beautiful. Do not save on the dress or cloak to buy a more elaborate bonnet, but let the cost be well equalized and the effect will be good. A plain merino or dark silk, with a cloth cloak, will look much better than the most expensive velvet cloak over a cheap delaine dress.

Fashion
Do not be too submissive to the dictates of fashion; at the same time avoid oddity or eccentricity in your dress. There are some persons who will follow, in defiance of taste and judgment, the fashion to its most extreme point; this is a sure mark of vulgarity. Every new style of dress will admit of adaptation to individual cases, thus producing a pleasing, as well as fashionable effect. Not only good taste, but health is often sacrificed to the silly error of dressing in the extreme of fashion. Be careful to have your dress comfortable and becoming, and let the prevailing mode come into secondary consideration; avoiding, always, the other extreme of oddity or eccentricity in costume.

Style and form of dress
Be always careful when making up the various parts of your wardrobe, that each article fits you accurately. Not in the outside garments alone must this rule be followed, an ill-fitting pair of corsets, or wrinkles in any other article of the under-clothes, will make a dress set badly, even if it has been itself fitted with the utmost accuracy. A stocking which is too large, will make the boot uncomfortably tight, and too small will compress the foot, making the shoe loose and untidy. In a dress, no outlay upon the material will compensate for a badly fitting garment. A cheap calico made to fit the form accurately and easily, will give the wearer a more lady-like air than the richest silk which either wrinkles or is too tightly strained over the figure. Collars or sleeves, pinned over or tightly strained to meet, will entirely mar the effect of the prettiest dress.

Economy
And by economy I do not mean mere cheapness. To buy a poor, flimsy fabric merely because the price is low, is extravagance, not economy; still worse if you buy articles because they are offered cheap, when you have no use for them. In purchasing goods for the wardrobe, let each material be the best of its kind. The same amount of sewing that is put into a good material, must be put into a poor one, and, as the latter will very soon wash or wear out, there must be another one to supply its place, purchased and made up, when, by buying a good article at first, this time and labor might have been saved. A good, strong material will be found cheapest in the end, though the actual expenditure of money may be larger at first.

Comfort
Many ladies have to trace months of severe suffering to an improper disregard of comfort, in preparing their wardrobe, or in exposure after they are dressed. The most exquisite ball costume will never compensate for the injury done by tight lacing, the prettiest foot is dearly paid for by the pain a tight boot entails, and the most graceful effects will not prevent suffering from exposure to cold. A light ball dress and exquisite arrangement of the hair, too often make the wearer dare the inclemency of the coldest night, by wearing a light shawl or hood, to prevent crushing delicate lace or flowers. Make it a fixed rule to have the head, feet, and chest well protected when going to a party, even at the risk of a crushed flower or a stray curl. Many a fair head has been laid in a coffin, a victim to consumption, from rashly venturing out of a heated ball room, flushed and excited, with only a light protection against keen night air. The excitement of the occasion may prevent immediate discomfort in such cases, but it adds to the subsequent danger.

Details
Be careful always that the details of your dress are perfectly finished in every point. The small articles of a wardrobe require constant care to keep in perfect order, yet they will woefully revenge themselves if neglected. Let the collar, handkerchief, boots, gloves, and belts be always whole, neat, and adapted to the dress. A lace collar will look as badly over a chintz dress, as a linen one would with velvet, though each may be perfect of its kind. Attention to these minor points are sure tests of taste in a lady's dress. A shabby or ill fitting boot or glove will ruin the most elaborate walking dress, while one of much plainer make and coarser fabric will be becoming and lady-like, if all the details are accurately fitted, clean, and well put on. In arranging a dress for every occasion, be careful that there is no missing string, hook, or button, that the folds hang well, and that every part is even and properly adjusted. Let the skirts hang smoothly, the outside ones being always about an inch longer than the under ones; let the dress set smoothly, carefully hooked or buttoned; let the collar fit neatly, and be fastened firmly and smoothly at the throat; let shoes and stockings be whole, clean, and fit nicely; let the hair be smooth and glossy, the skin pure, and the colors and fabric of your dress harmonize and be suitable for the occasion, and you will always appear both lady-like and well-dressed.



THE MODERN MUSE Jill Kargman


WHO
Jill Kargman

WHAT
New York Times best-selling author, radio personality, actress, producer, creator and star of the scripted comedy 'Odd Mom Out', daughter of former president of Chanel Arie L. Kopelman  and his wife Corinne 'Coco' Kopelman, wife of founder/CEO of 'Kargo' Harry Kargman, mom to Sadie, Ivy and Fletch and if all that wasn't enough, she also happens to be the God damn funniest woman on planet Earth

WHERE
That's the Upper East Side, NYC baby!

WHY
She's smart as hell, outspoken, beyond hilarious and has a goth-chic wardrobe any anti-socialite worth her weight in Essie 'Wicked' nail polish would kill for; her penchant for head-to-toe black is anything but basic and her sartorial success with mixing the likes of leather (harnesses to be exact), lace dresses (she doesn't do pants), high-collared New Romantic blouses (think back to the second British invasion circa the early 80's) and some killer heels is proof positive of two things; that she is the super chic lovechild of Oscar Wilde and Wednesday Addams and she IS the epitome of all that's fabulously badass and cool about New York.
To paraphrase a line from her 'Odd Mom Out' character;
Jill Kargman, you are a God. Start a religion and we will convert!

Her story so far → Jill Kargman on Instagram / Facebook / Twitter


HOW TO BEHAVE HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE Elbows On The Table


I've always wondered what the poor little elbow ever did to deserve such a bad rap.
I mean you'd have to be an absolute scoundrel of a body part to warrant such wrath from the general public like you do when they come across one resting comfortably on a table.

The unjust war against the elbow started way back in jolly old England. You see, the castles and great houses during the Middle Ages did not have dining tables in their great halls so when it was time for the Lords and Ladies to chow down, they had to make tables out of trestles covered with cloths. The diners would sit along one side only and if they rested their elbows on the 'table' and leaned forward too heavily, the trestles could collapse.
And since no one wanted to be known as the oaf who ruined dinner, everyone got the message that elbows should be no where near the 'table' while you were seated.
Luckily we've come a long was since the Middle Ages and despite what you've been told for eons about the travesty of elbows on the table, there is a time and place for elbows on the table; you just need to know when that is.

When you are seated and eating, keeping your elbows off the table is less about some obsolete rule and more about not looking like a sloppy hunchback which is definitely an etiquette no-no. A person can not possibly eat with ease while having their elbows rest on a table. Go ahead and try it for yourself and before you know it, you will find your sleeves (or forearms) cleaning off the sides of your plate with every bite.
And if you are close enough to the table to be resting your elbows on it while eating, you are not sitting in your chair properly. More than likely, if you could ever catch a side view of yourself in this position, you will see that your upper body is basically hunched over the top of your plate.
Instead, use your forearm as a good posture guide and rest it at the edge of the table in a comfortable position so that you have a balanced distance between your body and the table.

When seated and not eating, there really is no reason you should ever feel uncomfortable about your elbows being anywhere near a table at all but the most formal dinners like when you are breaking bread with the president or having Oysters Rockefeller with the Queen (even then, I can say with almost certainty that the Queen doesn't give a hoot where your elbow is resting).
Elbows on the table are totally acceptable between courses and at the end of the meal, particularly when coffee is being served and the table atmosphere is relaxed.


A READER ASKS Is It Too Late To Say Thank You?



Dear Lily,
A friend of mine hosted my family this summer at her beautiful summer home just north of the city where we live. Our original plans were for a two week stay but due to conflicting work schedules and a last minute project of hers that couldn’t wait for her return, we could only coordinate one week where both families could be together. Being the generous friend that she is, she was kind enough to let us go up to her cottage a week before her family arrived so that we could enjoy the full two weeks at our leisure. Our families had a wonderful time together but recently, I ran into a mutual friend of ours that mentioned my friend who hosted us wasn’t sure we enjoyed ourselves and was a little concerned because she hadn’t heard from me since our stay. The rest of the summer has gone by so quickly and now with my children back at school, I really haven’t had a chance to call her and say thank you for everything but at this point, I almost feel like a phone call wouldn’t be enough, especially since I would really like for us to be invited back next summer. Is it just too late for a proper 'thank you'? Also, I was wondering if I wanted to do more than an 'over the phone' thank you, what would be appropriate at this point?
Truly,
Voula

Dear Voula,
I am a firm believer that it is never too late for a genuine thank you, regardless of how much time has passed. You should not let this lapse stop you from what is important, which is letting your friend know how much you appreciated her hospitality and enjoyed the time spent with her family.
Keeping that in mind, it is always a good idea to express your gratitude when the sentiment is still fresh, making it easier to draw on notable points from the actual event, which should be touched upon in your note. An appropriate timeline to express your appreciation is generally within two weeks of the event. While some like to jot down a note the day after an event (which is an easy way to keep you from forgetting), many choose to wait a few days allowing them to gather their thoughts. Either is equally acceptable and as you get into your own pattern, you will come to realize which method is best for you.
The choice between a spoken or written thank you is usually a personal one, and I always suggest you do what will make it easier for you to remember.  Traditionally, a thank you letter or note is considered more appropriate and quite honestly, who doesn’t like receiving something special through the post! A note allows for a little more eloquence and heart-felt appreciation, something that many of us are not overly comfortable expressing vocally.
If you would like to take your ‘thank you’ one step further, why not send a little something extra along with your note. Traditionally, when someone has hosted you for an extended stay in their home in the city or country, it is quite acceptable to send along a gift to accompany your thank you note. A basket of gourmet coffee beans and biscotti for the coffee aficionado, a set of personalized pillow cases for the monogram lover, household stationery for the paper connoisseur or something as simple and easy as photo book of images taken during your stay would be a very thoughtful touch and much appreciated by any host, especially one who is a little unsure of her guests feelings towards about their time spent together

Regards,
Lily